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Something to consider

The only person

I ever lost

and needed

back was

myself.



I was married for 18 years. We got married when our rational brains hadn't even reached the development phase yet . Some individuals reach maturity age at an early age due to their circumstances or childhood trauma. Some never do. I guess the point I want to make is that if you are not in the stage of proper adulthood - rationality and maturity it is not advisable to consider making any live choices.


The year I turned 38 I realised that I had lost the little bit of human intell I had regarding who I was. Being pulled into a rollercoaster of finding the perfect job, getting the white picket fence up and being a 24/7 on duty mom had depleted my sense of discovery and exploration.


So one day I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing down what I want from live, what works for me and what doesn't and the person I was hoping to become. None of the mentioned aligned in any way with my husband at the time. Our rhythms were not synced, his life goals and mine where not on par. And so the marriage slowly but surely started to unravel, bit by bit, day by day.


Looking back I am so glad that I took a stand, cleaned my canvas and started investing in myself. You must be thinking how can I possibly do that with everything that needs to be done in a day.

Baby steps. If you find yourself in a moment during the day that you feel uncomfortable, remember the moment and try and figure out what triggered it. Might it be that you felt out of control or someone intimidated you with harsh words? Listen to yourself and consider what triggered the emotion ... is it a lack of self esteem or did the out of control moment remind you of your past?


So in conclusion:

Never get married until you have your shit together.

Aways learn and grow as an individual and not as only a mom and wife

Journal

Become more aware of your feelings and address triggers on the go

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Ek is

Ek is aanmekaar gestik deur my Hemelse Pappa stuk vir stuk met Sy hand baie keer wou ek die gare uitmekaar trek Dit lyk dan na 'n vieslike gemors! Een lap is gekreukel en die ander vuil die gare verst

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